Hot Topics!!!

As many of you know, I am not one to stir up controversy or to firmly state my opinion when it's not the general consensus in the discussion. I tend to sit back, listen and quietly form my own opinion and keep it to myself for fear of offending someone. And that attitude has served me well. I let people assume I think the same way they do so I don't hurt there feelings. I have noticed that sometimes when I do voice my thoughts on any given subject, someone who dosen't share that opinion think that by me not sharing viewpoints with them I am in fact judging them. I have never really understood that. How is my choice or opinion affecting you so much that you take it personally. This has happened more then a few times and mostly centering around our decision to home school. I honestly, for  the life of me, can't understand why sharing my opinion can be seen in such a light. The only thing I can think of is I must have touched a nerve and they are feeling either guilty or worried about their decisions and my opinion is bringing out that guilt or worry so instead of dealing with those feeling inside themselves they feel judged. I could be totally wrong in my assessment of the situation but that is the vibe I get from these encounters. I do not judge others decisions, I think everyone has the right to do what they will. I just know what I think and feel about issues.

There are many topics I feel VERY strongly about that I have never really shared with anyone for fear of offending someone. But I have been thinking it over for a while and I have come to the conclusion that if I never say anything, nothing will change. I really feel like I am comfortable in my own skin enough to feel like I can really say what's on my mind and informed enough to defend my positions. It feels very liberating slowly figuring out my voice and standing up for what I feel is right. I have no problem sharing my testimony in Church or giving advice when asked but I really have not gone into a conversation and really stated my true feelings. Well, today I think that is about to change. I really feel that by sharing my opinions I can get a dialogue going and maybe even learn something.

hot topic #1 breastfeeding in public

I am a full time nursing mama! I have a 3 month old baby girl who is exclusively breastfeed. If I don't nurse her, she doesn't eat. I have absolutely no problem feeding her where ever I am. I use a nursing cover not only to maintain my modesty but to kind of shut out the noises and distractions so baby can get to the business of eating lunch. I REFUSE to feed her in a bathroom stall or hidden away somewhere. I am not ashamed to feed her and I don't think anyone else should be either. I have fed her in the park, in a cloth diaper store seated by a window, in the van, at my friends homes, in the waiting room at the doctors office, at the Urban Onion restaurant, at Famous Dave's restaurant, in my front yard... you name it I have nursed there! There are some times I do not feed her in public, those being in a grocery store or during church on Sunday. The reason I don't in a store is I can't balance a baby and a shopping cart! I am, lets say, well endowed enough that walking around and nursing is not feasible. I do not nurse in church meetings on Sunday's but I guess I could if I felt I needed to.  I don't have a problem nursing during the weekday activities. My church provides a mothers room with rocking chairs and changing tables. So on Sundays I nurse there.

There has been a lot of talk online about a town in Georgia that outlawed nursing children over the age of 2 in public stating nudity laws. Umm... that does not sit well with me for a number of reasons. Since when does any government body dictate how a mother feeds her child, or where. I firmly believe in child led weaning, that is letting the child decide when they are ready to be done nursing. However, I have never had a very long nursing relationship with my children yet but I am very hopeful too. The World Health Organization recommends that babies nurse until the age of 2 then longer as mutually acceptable between both mother and baby. Nowhere in that statement did I read that the government had any say in it. Women walk around in far less clothing and show way more skin then a nursing mother.  I know some people find nursing uncomfortable to watch. I think it stems for the oversexualization of a woman's breasts. The primary function of a woman's breasts are to feed her offspring. That is the very definition of being a mammal. I think if people see mothers nursing it will become normal and more accepted in society.


hot topic #2breastfeeding versus formula

This is an interesting topic for me. With my first I was not able to nurse, I had zero support after she was born and had no clue how to pump properly. She was sick and in the NICU for 7 days and I was not even given a pump until 4 day postpardem so my supply was not jump started. I never did get her to latch on and as a result she was 100% bottle fed. I can tell you I felt horrible that I could not feed her myself but I was so grateful that formula was there for her so she could be fed. With my 2nd I had major supply issues. She was jaundiced and was supplemented formula and my supply suffered. She got used to a bottle and I am not a very good pumper so my supply dried up and were it not for a dear friend donating  some of her extra breast milk my second child would not have had much in the way of human breast milk. In this debate I have a hat in both sides. With my little nursling I have now it is a whole 'nother story. She took to the breast and has been an awesome nurser. She has never even used a bottle once. I am so grateful that we finally have a good nurser in our family.

It is so sad to see mothers tear each other down for the way they choose to feed there babies. I think if a mother has a real issue with her supply and HAS to use formula then that is just fine. I have been there, I understand. But if I mother has a good supply and chooses not to for her own reasons then that is her decision but I don't agree with it. Breast milk is far and away better for baby. It is how babies were fed forever. It is not like 60 years ago when formula was invented breasts stopped there function and chemicals were to take over feeding babies. That being said, I am ever so grateful for formula but I would rather it were not so shoved in mothers faces. I would much rather see support and encouragement for mothers so babies get the best chance at a healthy future. my first, the one who only got formula has some major allergies and I think her getting formula has a lot to do with it.

hot topic #3 vaccinations

I am just going to say it... we vaccinate! I was totally gunge ho about vaccinations with my first two. I did my best to stay on schedule and make sure I was doing everything in my power to protect my babies from the disease and illness that is completely preventable. Even though I feel this way I still get a bit nervous when I have a new baby. They are so precious and tiny and I hate seeing them hurting. We do wait to start vaccinations until our babies are over 10 pounds and 4 months old. this subject it a really touchy one with some family members so we choose not the even bring it up. I think every parent need to make there own mind up as to what is best for there kids. I would be mortified if my kid were to get seriously ill from something that could have been vaccinated against. I know there are stories on both sides and there is a risk involved but we feel the risk are better then the death of our children.


hot topic #4 spanking


We DO NOT spank our children! We never have and we never will. There is not one single thing anyone can say that will convince me physical violence toward children will do any good WHATSOEVER.  I think if you can't hit another adult then why can you hit a child? "it's just one swat" "it was only with an open hand" "I only spank when it's really needed" I don't think these excuses would work if a husband said that about his wife "I only hit her once" " I used an open hand" " I only hit her when she needs it" Ummm that just doesn't fly with me. For me hitting my child is wrong. Period. I want my children to listen to me because they love and respect me. because they know the rules and consequences for there actions, not because they are afraid that if the make a mistake mommy is going to hurt them. There is nothing that makes me cringe more then hearing a child crying because they are being hurt by their parent and hearing that awful smacking sound. I get sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I have never seen a parent lovingly spank there child... it is always out of anger. I don't by the "well I was spanked and i turned out ok" line. If that were the case they wouldn't feel the need to take there anger out on the child. This is just MY opinion. If you spank that is your choice. I don't condemn you for it. but please don't do it in front of me or my children. We are not used to that and it is very startling to us. I have had more then my fair share of calming down my daughter after she sees another child being hit.

hot topic #5 Homeschooling

How naive I was back when we first decided to home school. I didn't know that choice would lead to losing friends and having people close to me stop talking to me for long periods of time.
It's not the entire idea of homeschooling but that pesky word "socialization" The one word that home school parents get the most annoyed with. I am more then a little frustrated that it is even an issue at least for my family. I make sure my kids are out in the town, surrounded by other people. we go play groups, homeschooling groups, team sports, library reading time, church primary classes and on and on. My kids do spend time at home but they are not locked away for weeks at a time never learning how to interact with others. When they grow up they will not just spend all there adult lives associating with people there own age. They will be around people of all ages. That is exactly how they are being raised, to be able to socialize with people of all ages not just 30 other kids there same age. We love homeschooling and really we are just beginning. Our oldest is not even old enough for kindergarten yet but we have already done kindergarten with her. We love moving at her pace and teaching her about the world around here. We most like teaching a Gospel centered education. Something you can not get at public school. This is where we are now in our lives, we may decide to put her in public school someday but for now this is what we are doing and she loves it.

I hope I haven't offended anyone but I think it is long overdue I state my opinions and let my voice be heard. I don't have many people who actually read my blogs anyway but I hope this blog post will help those of you who do read this blog understand me a bit more. I love my kids and my family and Jacob and I have one single goal, and that is the have a happy safe home and this is just the way we have found to do it.




 Just as I don't judge others for there opinions please don't judge me for mine. We are all doing what we feel is best. This is just my own opinion.